Wedding Band Etiquette by John Nicole
I’m always surprised when I hear stories about musicians behaving badly in public.
Although, let’s face it, we musicians – and performers, in general – tend to be either a
little rough around the edges and/or, well let’s just say, crazy.
Playing music professionally – especially at a special event like a wedding – requires a
bit more than simply sounding really great. Unfortunately, a great-sounding band that
doesn’t understand how to behave during a wedding reception can really be a downer.
I can’t say I’m fond of too many rules and regulations when I play music, but there must
be some set of principles by which musicians like me can act and perform.
Luckily, these principles have been created and agreed-upon by members of the
Wedding Musician Association (.org), a non-profit organization comprising
professional musicians committed to providing the best possible music
and service to their clients.
Admittedly, the principles seem to be a little preachy (my one criticism), but they do make
sense. And here they are (in bold) along with my editorial comments:
Never discriminate on the basis of race, religion, sexual orientation, cultural
traditions or age. Obviously, this is a no-brainer but you’d be surprised at how many
times musicians will turn down a gig because of these factors. When you are a business,
you should not discriminate against your customers.
Listen to your client and try to understand their vision for success. Wedding
vendors, and not just musicians, can smell when a bride and groom don’t know what
they’re doing and tend to take over. Sometimes it’s challenging to understand what the
bride and groom want, but we’ve got to try and find out. Instead of jumping in with our
own ideas, it’s better to wait and let the couple find their own basic vision, first. Then we
can add our own suggestions.
Be a supportive consultant and service provider to wedding planners. Musicians
will often keep them themselves isolated from the planning process of a wedding. In fact,
many musicians leave the wedding market because there are too many questions and
phone calls from the bride, groom and wedding planner. The wedding planners are in
charge and so I always make sure I understand their needs as well. Granted, it’s not
always possible to make everyone happy, but we can try.
Pay attention to all the details. It’s why I always ask so many questions of my clients
ahead of time.
Make certain to ensure the safety of your client and guests. Yes, I’ve had the
father of the bride trip and fall on a power cord. It wasn’t a pretty picture and I learned
the hard way to take all the necessary precautions. A lot could happen and musicians
should be prepared for anything. Incidentally, not all musicians have liability insurance,
and they should.
Offer opportunities for guests to become involved whenever possible. For some
reason, especially during wedding receptions, guests like to become involved with the
music. Either they want to make requests, or ask you to turn the sound volume up or
down, or they want to sing along, or play the tambourine. What’s important to remember
is that musicians do have a relationship with their audiences. They are not simply
playing music behind a curtain.
Whenever possible, provide a guest microphone. Simply have an accessible
microphone for people to make announcements, toasts, etc. Musicians should avoid
using their own microphone for such purposes.
Know the management rules and regulations of the venue in advance. If I have
never played at a particular hotel, I’ll make certain I understand the hotel’s policies and
procedures for accommodating musicians and their equipment.
Be prepared for specialized electrical requirements and bring backup equipment.
It’s really quite frightening to be at an event and some vital piece of equipment doesn’t
work, so bring backup equipment just in case.
Never take more time for a break than your performance agreement allows, and
always let your client know where you will be located. For some reason, people
like to make announcements when the band is on a break. Nothing is more frustrating to
a client than not knowing how to find any members of the band. Also, if it’s appropriate,
play some pre-recorded break music while you’re gone.
Be familiar with and respect the culture and tradition of your client. Not all
wedding ceremonies, or receptions or people are the same.
Fully know all necessary protocol for weddings & receptions. This should be the
number-one principle. Musicians are often part of a time-honored tradition, so they
should be very familiar with the protocol and all of the procedures and their variations.
Always charge fairly for your services and make certain your client understands
and agrees fully with any performance contract. Integrity, honesty and good
communications are important factors when working with clients. There should be no
room for deception by any musician. Expectations should always be clear for both
parties.
Never drink alcohol or smoke tobacco in or near the venue. Don’t even do it on a
break unless you are located where no one can see you.
Never display a "tip jar," merchandise or business cards. Tacky practice –
especially at weddings. Musicians should always have their business cards available,
however; just not on display.
Wear suitable clothing as advised by your client. Hello? It’s called getting with the
program. Not all musicians ask in advance about dress, however.
Never setup or pack your equipment while quests are still located in the
performance area. It happens all the time. The musical clock stops at midnight, but
the party keeps going and the band needs to pack up and get out. It’s not always
possible to avoid packing while the party is still going on, but musicians should try and
wait. Of course, if it’s not possible, confer with the client.
Avoid being a "celebrity" during your performance and remember: It's not
about YOU. Musicians, me included, have egos. And sometimes when we have the
microphone it’s easy to believe we’re the star of the show. And, frankly, when I’m playing
at a club or theater, hopefully I am the star of the show. Weddings, however, are a very
different story. Musicians at weddings are like good meeting facilitators. They keep
things moving, but they don’t control the meeting.
