How to Commit Musical Suicide
(or Death of the One-Man Band)
By John Nicole
When I first started as a wedding musician, I had to put myself into a category so people would easily
understand the type of musician they were hiring. Generally, we all know the difference between an
orchestra, a string quartet, and a rock band. Then there are solo musicians like a pianist, violinist,
guitarist and harpist. Have you noticed that all these types have an "ist" after the instrument they play?
Very often, another popular category is the DeeJay (or DJ) -- and why is their job always capitalized?
What makes them so special? After all, they aren't musicians but the public always seems to put them
into the same category as musicians.
Then there's that "other" category that was very popular for a while, but I'm happy to say is losing its
popularity: One-Man Band. Actually, it's a bit sexist, isn't it? There are certainly women who are
one-man bands.
Most of us have this image in our mind of what a one-man band looks like. It's right next to the image of
an Organ Grinder with the obligatory monkey on his shoulder. Our image of the one-man band is probably
the one that includes a man with striped pants playing as big bass drum strapped to his chest while he
crashes two small cymbals together between his knees while he plays a trumpet and steps on some
contraption which creates still another sound.
It's musical and comical genius, simultaneously. It's musical multi-tasking at its finest. However, I can't
remember the last time I saw one of these guys at a wedding or reception. And now I'm wondering if
anyone in the history of the world ever hired one of these guys -- even if they played for free.
Today's one-man band (now listed in lower case) has discovered computer technology. Instead of all that
musical apparatus strapped to his body, he (or she) relies on two or three electronic keyboards – some
combination of laptop and musical keyboards. I probably shouldn’t reveal their secrets -- because I used
to be an OMB (one-man band), myself. Oh, what the heck! You should know what’s behind the curtain
if you’re paying for it.
Before I reveal these secrets, however, please note that not all one-man bands utilize exactly the same
techniques. Nor am I advising you to avoid hiring one-man bands because many of them are very
talented and entertaining.
My first experience with seeing and hearing a one-man band was about ten years ago. I, and a group of
fellow musicians, went to a bar to have a few drinks and listen to some guy play the piano keyboard. He
had a lot of equipment and we watched with interest as he set it up. Then he pulled out a laptop computer
and set it right in front of him like he was going to surf the web while he played.
When he finally started to play, we were blown away. His music was fantastic. We weren't sure how he
did it, but this guy was phenomenal. Every song was almost exactly like the original. We were impressed
until some guy behind us told us this musician's nickname. He was known as the Karaoke Kid.
He wasn't really performing Karaoke, but it was an awfully close call. He was still playing the musical
keyboard, right? He was still creating all those sounds from the computer, wasn't he? Nope. It turned
out he was playing along to pre-recorded "backing tracks" which he purchased and downloaded to his
laptop.
Normally, backing tracks consist of all the musical parts of a song minus the main vocals. When the
one-man band hits play on his laptop, the backing track kicks in and he will play and sing along to it. It
does sound a little like Karaoke, doesn't it? But he is playing the keyboard, so it's not quite the same
thing, is it?
So, I went home that night feeling a little cheated. It was as though I peaked behind the curtain and came
to realize that Oz was not so "great and powerful," after all.
Most everyone deserves a second chance, so I returned the following weekend to watch and listen to him
again. I was still somewhat impressed with his style and overall stage presence, but this time I sat where
I could watch his hands. I was interested in how he put it all together. Even with my new view, he
appeared and sounded as though he was holding his own. Then it happened!!!
He was playing and singing the end of a song, but looked as though he was trying to get ready for the
next song which I think some one had requested earlier. He moved both of his hands off the piano
keyboard and onto the keys of the laptop. When he did, there was absolutely no difference in the sound
of the song everyone was hearing. He was still singing, so I guess -- at this point in his performance
-- we were entering the Karaoke Zone. That's when I started watching and listening even more critically
than before.
In the final analysis, he was a good musician. He even pulled out his saxophone and played along to the
backing tracks. He was also a great showman. He knew which songs to play to get people up on the
dance floor -- like a really good DeeJay. So, once I got over the shock of what he was actually doing,
I relaxed a bit more and started to enjoy it.
I shouldn't paint all one-man bands with the same broad brush, however. I've seen some great ones who
play guitar, keep a drum beat with their left foot, strike a cymbal and tambourine with their right foot, play
harmonica with their mouth and sing. I'm not so sure these talented guys do many weddings or
receptions, but why not?
So, I'm still left with the question about where do I fit? It's a puzzling question because I'm in a few
categories. I'm definitely a solo pianist who plays background music or plays and sings popular love
songs. But -- here it comes -- I'm also a one-man band.
Yes, it's true. But I'm proud to say I don't follow the practices or techniques of the Karaoke Kid. Instead,
I try to create as many of the sounds of the song as possible in real time -- or live or not pre-recorded.
In other words, you'll know when I take my hands off the piano keyboard because it will no longer sound
like the same song.
Typically, I'll use one keyboard for the main melody of the song while my other hand plays a synthesizer
keyboard which creates the sound of strings or brass. Meanwhile, I've got a couple of foot pedals to alter
my voice when I need back-up singers or a specific beat from my drum machine. And there are times
when I play guitar or harmonica, and there are quite a few times when I'm playing the electric piano or
guitar with no back-up sounds at all.
So, to which category of musician should I pledge allegiance?
Frankly, a lot of my clients start out by looking for a rock band but then learn how costly a band can be
and turn to me. Conversely, people looking for a DeeJay realize that they can get someone like me for
about the same price, but they also get the spontaneity of live music.
Am I in some kind of hybrid category like the One-Dee-Man?Solo-Jay-Band category? Let’s all pause to reflect for a moment then I’ll
use my intuition to guess what you will suggest.
Okay, I think you’ve got it. After much reflection, you are suggesting that I should create my own
category. Great idea! Thanks! So now I am in the category called Virtual Virtuoso -- or "Virtualoso"
(for short) -- which Webster does not define, but he will.
Does this mean I'm now a VIRTUALOSO-IST?
If so, I may be one of a kind.
I like it!
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