Singer John Schneider's
Solid-Gold Wedding Band
Yes, it's true! I'm John Schneider and I'm offering
my "solid-gold" wedding band for your wedding
and reception. I'm sure Hollywood wants to know
the reason why! Well, the answer is I'm tired of
being mistaken by search engines for the kind of
wedding band that's worn on the finger (pictured
below) and for the actor (also pictured below) who
starred in the TV show, "The Dukes of Hazzard."
Now stop it!!!
But seriously, here are some jokes and humorous
quotes about weddings which may be useful for
toasts and speeches:
A Few Stupid Jokes:
A little girl at a wedding asked, "Mommy, why do brides
always wear white?" The mom replied, "Because they're
happy, dear." Halfway through the wedding the girl
whispered, "Mommy, if brides wear white because they're
happy, then why do men wear black?"
Two antenna meet on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was great!
Q: Why do bachelors like smart women? A: Opposites attract.
"The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you
never get to prove it."
Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage
license? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and
love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her
a lot and not try to understand her at all.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and
she does.
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence - a life sentence."
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied,
"Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
Humorous Quotes:
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine
marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem
"Marriage is a lot like the army: everyone complains, but
you'd be surprised at the large number that re-enlist."
- James Garner
"Basically, my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath
and she'd come in and sink my boats." - Woody Allen
"I told someone I was getting married, and they said, 'Have
you picked a date yet?' I said, 'Wow, you can bring a date to
your own wedding?" What a country!" - Yakov Smirnoff
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny
Youngman
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never
remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."
- Ogden Nash
"I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out,
'To Whom It May Concern." - Mickey Rooney
